Comic #1 : Christmas. Normally one would associate this season with joy, gladness, and well....you think of the other synonyms. You know what I'm talking about though -that universal cheer that seems to wash over basically everyone you meet.....except for certain store workers. :-) These poor people must be so sick and tired of helping people that they decide that they are going to be the lump of coal in everyone's stocking. Here is a real conversation I had this last week (minus gift details or else my mother could not read this post) :
Me (standing not 5 ft away from the lady at the counter): "Excuse me? ........................................................................................... *ahem* "Excuse me"
Worker: *under the breath grunt of recognition - but no eye contact*
Me: Do you happen to carry such and such?
Worker (very prompt monotone , still no eye contact): No. I don't have that.
Me: Oh.....ok....um....well.....thanks anyway..(*I guess*).
Here's the funny part. The object I was looking for WAS in the store nearby - just not in her section I guess. Good grief! You coulda TOLD me it was a couple aisles down! :-p And a Merry Christmas to you, too!
Comic #2: "Tis the season to be loony..."
Ok - so you've been shopping ALL afternoon, you've lost count of the stores that you've scouted out, you've lost count of how much moolah has been loaned to you for gifts and how much you've loaned out, you've had to deal with WEIRD people (including yourself), and as a result......you've lost your mind - it's probably somewhere in the Walmart checkout line caught on a shopping cart wheel *squeak! rattle raaaaattle....squeak!* . Sound familiar??
Here's how it went (again gifts and location emitted for my dad's sake):
I found the store entrance (BIG accomplishment), found the item I was looking for (another amazing feat!), found Connor (phew) and then found the end of a looooong line. (There weren't actually that many people, it was just taking forever and a Wednesday for the checkout people to get people checked out. "Are you a member? No? Ok. Would you like to become a member? No? Ok. Would you like to sign up for this discount that will save you absolutely nothing really. You don't? Really? It'll only take me a few decades to enter all your most detailed information into my computer. NO? Ok. That'll be $21.99. "
So I FINALLY get to the front of the line. Only to be humiliated because I am four dollars short. I had forgotten that I had loaned Connor five bucks earlier. "Ma'am? I believe you're a little short." (!! I'm 5'41/2" thank you very much! :-p) "Oh.....ummmm....Connor do you have any.....umm no you don't....... uuuuhhhhh.......welllllll.......I'm sorry.......I guess that's all then thank....no you don't have to hold it for me...I'll come back later......" Wow. I might as well wear a sign that says "Awkward Disaster Incoming. Duck!"
Comic #3: Do you ever feel like you are living in a funny scene from a movie? Well here's an excerpt from a comic conversation going on behind us in a line between a grandfather and his granddaughter.
"Is that salt that you're buying?"
"She asked for SALT?"
"Is that popcorn you're buying?"
" *sigh* Yes, dear"
"Are you buying things that SHE wants or that YOOOU want?"
"I don't think that's an issue dear"
etc. etc. etc. :-)
It was hard to keep from laughing.
Anyway.... I hope you have enjoyed some Christmas comedy. May God bless you this Christmas season as we celebrate the TRUE meaning of Christmas - God incarnate - our Savior - our Lord - Jesus.